Well, as always, I've drifted far from art and drawing and soforth. Distraction seems to be the name of the game. I've realized that I let myself be swayed too easily by the tide of people and things and information and, everyone's common denominator, money. I sometimes feel like a cloud of confused thoughts and emotions. I wonder whether I'm doing the right thing by following my heart or head. It becomes hard to tell which is speaking, or which one is lying. My solution used to be to keep the two as balanced as possible. The great yin and yang. (I'm no Buddhist but balance is the way of the world) But even that philosophy has only compounded my confusion. Making me feel like I'm only lying to myself. That confusion eventually gave way to a slow realization. One brought on by man's most ancient catalyst, a woman. I'm not sure how it happened but I know that I simply wanted to be better; for me, for my family, but mostly for her. The great yin and yang was wrong about this one. Or rather, I was wrong about it's application. My head and heart aren't two warring forces. Nor are they allies working together. This way of thinking is too detached, if only because these thing are you. Equal parts to an equation with only one number. And it's not your feelings or opinions that drive you. It's your character, your soul if you will, the person you are and always will be. You may pick up traits here and there, drop a bad habit or two, do things that you never imagined you'd ever do. Only it's your character that allows you to do that. So your character becomes your fate. Driving your head and heart in front of it. Pushing them forward, but always keeping them at arm's lenght. Wow........ I'm still confused.